Leadership is all about relationship.

When I started with horses, no one talked about leadership with me as it is talked about today. I remember being pushed and shoved around by cunning ponies, had my share of bruses and aces and that it somehow was considered to be the kind of lessons a rider needed to have.

I do believe (in retrospect, of course) that these bangs and bashes laid the foundation for the fear that I actually had for horses for many years, without ever believing I was scared! I felt a lack of trust, I knew that even if horses were said to be "nice" they could actually cause real pain.

What made life unpredictable was that I could not see the pattern for when the horse would be "good or bad." It meant that my action was based on the principle Guilty By Suspicion with the horsemanship I have learned, and that would be to jerk the reins roaring "Stand still you biiip-ing horse".

We've talked leadership in the blog, and I thought I'd add to that on the basis of two books - All the King's horses by Emelie Cajsdotter and Finding the Magic of Dan Sumerel.

A quotation from Emelie's book. "If you communicate with wild horses, they seldom speak about leadership. But they often talk about survival. For a flight animal, it is necessary to detect a potential danger, and when it occurs, already be in motion. When all this happens in the split of a second, there is no time for doubt or a peer discord. Each herd member must know his place. From a human perspective, we have studied this behavior and decided to call it ranking. By doing so, we assume that the leading horse is the group leader. We assume that this horse is the fastest, strongest and most intelligent horse. As a result, there are many animal owners who ask me to find out who the leader is in the stable. Alternatively, which human they regard as the dominant. But if you ask that question to a horse, you always and without exception get the same answer. They describe the different herd members' personalities, horses as well as people. --- It seems to be impossible for them to define a specific leader. Instead, they describe a sophisticated interaction, where the foundation of the structure is that each individual first and foremost knows himself. "

Within a horse herd there is a situation-based leadership. Different jobs have different 'leaders', some individuals are responsible for certain stages of the every day activities of a herd. One is good at finding water, one being the guard, one finding herbs, minerals, one fostering the fillys and one being ready for defense, etc.

In Dan Sumerels book is a wonderful section that shows that this situational leadership includes us. After an distance competition Dan and two friends rides out to remove all the paper-strips that has marked the track. When they turn back home they realize that it will be dark "Can-not-see-hand-in-the-black" and with at least three hours of riding ahead of them, along the winding and brushy mountain paths he will experience something extraordinary.

I quote "My concern and fear started to release and I handed over my well-being to Cisgo. My whole perspective on the ride changed. I had to trust him, because I had no opportunity to control the situation. We humans always want to be in control, because we believe we can and know everything. Sometimes we do not know everything. Lose the possibility to see when riding in the Colorado mountains and you will notice how little control you have. " (This is a quote based on the swdish translation of Dan’s book and therefore not an exact quotation.)

Leadership is about the relationship between individuals more than determing who rules and who obey. But nevertheless, it must be a certain degree of rule and obey in the horse and human relationship.

I take my own ladies and as an example. When I itch my 17 year old, I let her itch back, because she has learned just to rub me with her muzzle. My 1-year old can NOT itch back because she wants return the favour with her teeth. That sort of mutual grooming is ok with a horse but not with me!

In everyday chores, there are many moments that qualify for the application above, for the simple reason that we humans are so much more fragile (and slower and weaker) than horses.

Trust is a basic requirement for any relationship, and it grows out of friendliness, comfort and clarity and is made possible by the fact that "every individual first and foremost knows himself." as it says at the end of the quotation from Emelie Cajsdotters book.